Stubborn fool that I am, this really happened.
february 2008
huddled in the glow of a coke machine
i pretend that it gives warmth
close in two hours
minimal passers by, no security appearance since arrival
no security anywhere besides the type that tells me to move along
eyes stinging, memory stinging
this city is no longer home
and still i refuse to leave it
this happened here, that happened there
it should not linger this way
and yet it does
and so i linger also, it's become my only purpose
these streets taste like bile even in sunlight
i hate the sunny days most of all
few as they are
were there more when she walked with me?
she's around every corner
so i move in straight lines
everything has changed and nothing still has for me
my load is heavy and i am unclean
i chose this
she chose the same
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Talking
Early on in my writing I discovered that I have a pretty good ear for dialogue and I think I'm good at producing both snappy and clever as well as realistic sounding conversations. That's probably at least partially why I'm such a fan of someone like Kevin Smith, who as a writer really specializes in dialogue. It's also why I like plays so much. So writing a play should be easy for me, right? It's 95% dialogue after all. Plus it's always been a dream of mine to write a play and then see it performed on stage, to see something I wrote come to life.
A few years ago on a date with Kristine I went to the Pit at King's (my old university) to see my friend Jesse play the lead in the play, Equus. I'd never read the play before or seen the movie version but I knew a little about it. And I enjoyed it a whole lot. Jesse was especially great and I'm not just saying that cause he's my friend - I doubt he'll ever read my praise here - but also throughout the whole course of the play I found myself imagining my own play being put on in that space. Even though I didn't have a play written yet, the very beginnings of one was forming in my head.
Which brings us to now and this little excerpt. This is just a small piece of an early scene in my play "Away". Just two people talking. But I hope it's a good example of well-done dialogue.
SCENE TWO
Same location. It is the next day after school. Alex and Robyn walk up the street with their book bags and stop under the streetlight.
ALEX - I was right here, taking out the garbage. There were four flashes, two really close together. You didn't see it at all?
ROBYN - Nope. I trust you to catch all these things. You're the one with the telescope.
ALEX - Well, I only really caught it by accident. I looked out my window for another hour but - nothing.
ROBYN - Meteor shower's tomorrow night, right? This couldn't have anything to do with that?
ALEX - What? How could it?
ROBYN - Well, I dunno.
ALEX - You really don't pay attention when I talk about this stuff, do you?
ROBYN - Sure I do, Alex. It's just that it's pretty much ALL you talk about, you know?
ALEX - Well, let's talk about something else then.
ROBYN - Yeah, well I've gotta get my homework done if I'm gonna make it tonight.
ALEX - Homework be damned! You are coming tonight whether you're finished or not. It sucks with just three. Not to mention it's getting harder and harder to get Ryan to play anymore and I need you there to counterbalance Jono.
ROBYN - What do you mean 'counterbalance'?
ALEX - If you're not there then Ryan will just try to get out of it by saying he doesn't remember how to play, Jono will try to help him and there won't be any real conversation. It'll just be "D&D is lame", "No, it's not" and "What's Robyn doing?" all night and I'll lose my mind. I wouldn't even want to play but then Jono would just whine and Ryan would suggest we just quit playing it altogether. So-
ROBYN - So the very survival of our D&D sessions hangs in the balance if I don't make it tonight. I get it. I'll come. Because I WILL get my homework done. You should try my method of doing it before the day it's actually due.
ALEX - My system works fine.
ROBYN - Whatever.
Here they pause for a moment. Robyn is looking at her shoes.
ALEX - Um...Robyn?
ROBYN - Nothing. Just thinking.
ALEX - Ok.
ROBYN - Do Ryan and Jono know about the meteor shower?
ALEX - Huh? Of course they do. Although I'll probably have to remind Ryan.
ROBYN - You...don't have to.
ALEX - What do you mean?
ROBYN - Just that if Ryan doesn't feel like going it's not like he has to or anything. I mean, it's not like D&D, right? We don't NEED him.
ALEX - I...guess not. It's not, like, a tragedy if it's just you me and Jono.
ROBYN - You said that Jono always talks at the wrong time and ruins the moment.
ALEX - He does. But I'm weaning him off it, I think. He's getting better.
ROBYN - But if Ryan doesn't want to go then maybe Jono could hang out with him. You know...so Ryan wouldn't be left out?
ALEX - If he's left out it'll be because he left himself out. Jono shouldn't have to miss it to babysit Ryan.
ROBYN - Maybe he'd want to.
ALEX - I'm really not following you. What's this about?
ROBYN - Uh...I just thought maybe...that...it could be just you and me at this one.
ALEX - Why?
ROBYN - If I'm going to make it tonight, I've gotta get going.
ALEX - But-
Robyn turns and starts down the street. She briefly turns back around to call back to Alex.
ROBYN - D&D at seven! I'll be there.
She continues out of sight. Alex stands at the end of his driveway staring after her.
A few years ago on a date with Kristine I went to the Pit at King's (my old university) to see my friend Jesse play the lead in the play, Equus. I'd never read the play before or seen the movie version but I knew a little about it. And I enjoyed it a whole lot. Jesse was especially great and I'm not just saying that cause he's my friend - I doubt he'll ever read my praise here - but also throughout the whole course of the play I found myself imagining my own play being put on in that space. Even though I didn't have a play written yet, the very beginnings of one was forming in my head.
Which brings us to now and this little excerpt. This is just a small piece of an early scene in my play "Away". Just two people talking. But I hope it's a good example of well-done dialogue.
SCENE TWO
Same location. It is the next day after school. Alex and Robyn walk up the street with their book bags and stop under the streetlight.
ALEX - I was right here, taking out the garbage. There were four flashes, two really close together. You didn't see it at all?
ROBYN - Nope. I trust you to catch all these things. You're the one with the telescope.
ALEX - Well, I only really caught it by accident. I looked out my window for another hour but - nothing.
ROBYN - Meteor shower's tomorrow night, right? This couldn't have anything to do with that?
ALEX - What? How could it?
ROBYN - Well, I dunno.
ALEX - You really don't pay attention when I talk about this stuff, do you?
ROBYN - Sure I do, Alex. It's just that it's pretty much ALL you talk about, you know?
ALEX - Well, let's talk about something else then.
ROBYN - Yeah, well I've gotta get my homework done if I'm gonna make it tonight.
ALEX - Homework be damned! You are coming tonight whether you're finished or not. It sucks with just three. Not to mention it's getting harder and harder to get Ryan to play anymore and I need you there to counterbalance Jono.
ROBYN - What do you mean 'counterbalance'?
ALEX - If you're not there then Ryan will just try to get out of it by saying he doesn't remember how to play, Jono will try to help him and there won't be any real conversation. It'll just be "D&D is lame", "No, it's not" and "What's Robyn doing?" all night and I'll lose my mind. I wouldn't even want to play but then Jono would just whine and Ryan would suggest we just quit playing it altogether. So-
ROBYN - So the very survival of our D&D sessions hangs in the balance if I don't make it tonight. I get it. I'll come. Because I WILL get my homework done. You should try my method of doing it before the day it's actually due.
ALEX - My system works fine.
ROBYN - Whatever.
Here they pause for a moment. Robyn is looking at her shoes.
ALEX - Um...Robyn?
ROBYN - Nothing. Just thinking.
ALEX - Ok.
ROBYN - Do Ryan and Jono know about the meteor shower?
ALEX - Huh? Of course they do. Although I'll probably have to remind Ryan.
ROBYN - You...don't have to.
ALEX - What do you mean?
ROBYN - Just that if Ryan doesn't feel like going it's not like he has to or anything. I mean, it's not like D&D, right? We don't NEED him.
ALEX - I...guess not. It's not, like, a tragedy if it's just you me and Jono.
ROBYN - You said that Jono always talks at the wrong time and ruins the moment.
ALEX - He does. But I'm weaning him off it, I think. He's getting better.
ROBYN - But if Ryan doesn't want to go then maybe Jono could hang out with him. You know...so Ryan wouldn't be left out?
ALEX - If he's left out it'll be because he left himself out. Jono shouldn't have to miss it to babysit Ryan.
ROBYN - Maybe he'd want to.
ALEX - I'm really not following you. What's this about?
ROBYN - Uh...I just thought maybe...that...it could be just you and me at this one.
ALEX - Why?
ROBYN - If I'm going to make it tonight, I've gotta get going.
ALEX - But-
Robyn turns and starts down the street. She briefly turns back around to call back to Alex.
ROBYN - D&D at seven! I'll be there.
She continues out of sight. Alex stands at the end of his driveway staring after her.
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